09 April 2008
I know I haven’t been the best blogger ever, but I just couldn’t get myself to write anything these couple of days. I just couldn’t pick myself out of the slump. Dealing with family and family problems, dealing with my own issues and resentments has just become so much that I lost perspective. At least I managed to squeeze in some time for personal activities, I never use to get a lot of time for myself as one tend to run after everyone else, but I decided that it’s time to look at for Stefanie, and I am. I started spinning, which is great fun, my sister in law joined me about 5 days ago, and she is also now spinning with me every Monday to Thursday, which gives her some personal time to. Some days I just wonder why it is that people need to try and exhaust themselves to try and forget what they are going through emotionally. I haven’t been able to go back for acupuncture, nor have I seen the inside of the doctors rooms since 25 March 2008, just can’t seem to focus anymore. Even though hubby thinks that I just don’t want any children now. I don’t think he really understand how I feel, hey I don’t even know myself how I feel, but I think my mindset is just not right. I have read all the blogs ladies who are on the exact same journey and try and find perspective on my life again, but I just find it so difficult. And there I go again. The negative little old me, I don’t want to feel this way, and I don’t want to feel like the victim in this story, but I do feel sorry for myself at this point in time, I just need to find a way to pick up my chin again. I’m sure I will work through this; I know I’m stronger than this. I want to end this message with the following: The beauty of life doesn’t depend on how happy you are... But on how happy others can be because of YOU!!! "Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams"