I try daily to look at my life as if I'm looking throught the eyes of a Stranger. They say that you can't judge a person if you haven't walked in their shoes, but the grass looks always greener on the other side.
I try and take myself out of my situations, looking at it, as if I was a stranger to it, and based on that motivate myself daily with things that only other might see...
Thank you for stopping by, I know that most of you are stopping by for ICLW, and hope that I will find more friends and readers through out this week.
I wanted to leave you all with a little thought for the week
Don't underestimate the power of a touch a smile a kind word a listening ear an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring all of which have the potential to turn a life around Life ends when you stop Dreaming, Hope ends when you stop Believing, Love ends when you stop Caring, Friendship ends when you stop Sharing. When you find a dream inside your heart,
Don't ever let it go,
For dreams are the tiny seeds, from which Beautiful Tomorrows Grow!
Have a Wonderful Week!
For those of you who have been following my blog…
CD1 started on the 17th which I was not to happy about, but I started my meds (Estrogen) on Thursday and started with the injections and Clomid on Saturday, and then again another 2 injections this morning. Hopefully my body will produce more follies this time round and not just one. We have our Scan on Sunday and I’m trying to be very optimistic about it and will hopefully receive our blood test results which I had done last week.
I have officially decided that yesterday and today was the worst days of this week.
About a month ago, a little sty and infection started to form on my left eye, and when I saw the Dr he gave me some antibiotic and cream to put on, well it never seemed to have gone away. Now about a month later I still had the same bump on my eye which was very irritable and scratchy and last night it just felt like my whole eye was about to fall out. So we decided to go over to our emergency rooms as no Dr’s office is open after 6pm. So at about 7:30 we were at the emergency rooms waiting for the Dr on call to see us.
Off I went into the emergency ward where the Dr saw me, and explained that they would have to make an incision on the eye lid, off cause this would be painful he said, however it something that they would have to do. So they prepared everything and as I was lying there, he made the incision on the left eye lid and squeezed out all the puss. OUCH! Is about all I can say without sounding like the worst sailor ever.
Anyway, as if that wasn’t enough, you see we only left there at about 10pm, which meant that I couldn’t eat anymore. I had some blood works from the Fertility Clinic which I had to go for today and it was suppose to be done fasting. NICE, so bloody nice… Now here is grumpy me, hungry, thirsty and really sore… but I survived.
So on arrival at work, one of my colleagues went with me over to the one clinic close by, we decided to have a walk there as it is about 100 meters from work, nice morning breeze, and what a walk, it was great to be out in the open for a change. Anyway, 10 vials of blood later I walked out of there. We rushed back to work; I got a toasted and coffee, and have never had breakfast so fast in my entire life. I was starving! So Dr testing about everything here are the list (and no official medical explanation but rather my understanding of the test):
Glucose fasting (measure the amount of glucose in the blood right at the time of sample collection)
Insulin fasting (used, often along with glucose and C-peptide levels, to help diagnose insulinomas and to help diagnose documented acute or chronic (fasting) hypoglycemia)
TSII (testing of the Thyroid)
Free T4 (Total T4 and free T4 are two separate tests that can help the doctor evaluate thyroid function)
FSH (FSH levels are also useful in the investigation of menstrual irregularities and to aid in the diagnosis of pituitary disorders)
LH (The LH blood test measures the amount of luteinizing hormone)
17-B Oestradiol (E2) (associated with changes in ovarian steroid levels)
Progesterone (measures the amount of the hormone progesterone in a blood sample)
Free Testosterone (needed for hormonal balance and to help women’s bodies to function normally)
Growth hormones (Growth hormones are the chemical stimulation that initiates cell division, bone growth, and a number of other physical processes within the human body)
Prolactin (ordered along with other tests, when a woman is experiencing infertility or irregular menses)
Antenatal (Incl. HIV) (testing things like your blood group, Rhesus factor, Iron levels, red blood cell abnormalities, Syphilis, German measles, hepatitis B, and HIV)
B-HCG Quantitative (pregnancy test)
Phospholipid antibodies (testing antibodies – complications caused by Antiphospholipid Antibody could cause miscarriages)
ANF (anti Nuclear factor – is an antibody. The presence of this antibody raises a number of possibilities – positive test possibility of Arthritis, Scleroderma.)
So this is my bit of bad luck these 2 days, and O Yes AF haven’t started yet (which is for some reason a bit odd it normally starts on day 26 of my cycle) but I’ll have to wait for day 28 to arrive as it might be because of the fact that I’m not using any medicine at this moment, so Dr said it could have an impact on this months cycle. Anyway we are waiting for AF to either come (which will be sad, but then we can start the process) or stay away (which will be the ideal, because that will mean that I got it right) so either or, I’m trying to cope everyday with the thoughts that there might be a BFP, but also with the knowing that it actually will take a miracle to have a BFP on our own, but who knows what our little rocky road has in store for us.
Now I’m waiting in anticipation for AF, and my test results… so wish me luck!
I really didn’t know how to type up this message. I’m sooooooooooooooooo two minded about everything.
To start off with, we went to see the social worker, which was amazingly calm, almost to calm / relaxed. She took us through the whole adoption process, cost and everything else that goes with it. We had to register at one of the houses they currently work from etc. Then the house returned a mail with the cost estimations on their side and everything that goes with it, and now I feel a bit concerned.
You see, the thing is… even though I think we have made up our minds; there is still a part of us holding on to what we’re currently doing. Yes we could spend this small fortune and adopt, or we could try 2 more IVF’s or what ever is in store for us, we have also not yet considered a surrogate yet, and my sister in law so willingly offered the other day.
I feel a bit torn between all of these decisions, and need some guidance; so I booked an appointment with our IF Clinic and will discuss all our options with them on Friday 12 February 2010. I really hope that after this meeting I’ll be able to walk out and know what we need to do. I totally feel out of control, and I’m normally such an in control person. It just really isn’t making any sense right now. I just don’t know how to make the decision right now, and I hope Friday will give me some direction.
I know there are many of you that have gone through all of these emotions, and have decided the one or the other, and I’ll appreciate your views.
Why – Tomorrow is our BIG Day. We will be seeing the Social worker and look at our options. It’s still very early in the process and I have read everything I could, I went to my adoptive parents and got some information from them to, so I think we’re prepared, but we’ll know tomorrow. So here is my checks and balances for tomorrow
Excited – tick
got all the info needed for now – tick
Read all about the laws that was available – tick
prepare one emotionally – I think this is still not ticked