10 February 2010


I really didn’t know how to type up this message. I’m sooooooooooooooooo two minded about everything.

To start off with, we went to see the social worker, which was amazingly calm, almost to calm / relaxed. She took us through the whole adoption process, cost and everything else that goes with it. We had to register at one of the houses they currently work from etc. Then the house returned a mail with the cost estimations on their side and everything that goes with it, and now I feel a bit concerned.

You see, the thing is… even though I think we have made up our minds; there is still a part of us holding on to what we’re currently doing. Yes we could spend this small fortune and adopt, or we could try 2 more IVF’s or what ever is in store for us, we have also not yet considered a surrogate yet, and my sister in law so willingly offered the other day.

I feel a bit torn between all of these decisions, and need some guidance; so I booked an appointment with our IF Clinic and will discuss all our options with them on Friday 12 February 2010. I really hope that after this meeting I’ll be able to walk out and know what we need to do. I totally feel out of control, and I’m normally such an in control person. It just really isn’t making any sense right now. I just don’t know how to make the decision right now, and I hope Friday will give me some direction.

I know there are many of you that have gone through all of these emotions, and have decided the one or the other, and I’ll appreciate your views.


  1. Ek dink nie mens voel ooit of jy die regte besluite maak met die hele TTC-roller coaster nie. Ek dink elke dag moet ek dit of moet ek dat... dis natuurlik om altyd te wonder!! Go with your heart and gut-feelings.. At the end kry ons dalk dit wat ons harte so begeer! Gelukkig het ons mekaar vir ondersteuning!!

    Good luck!!

  2. Tough call. How tied are you to having your own biological child? Having been through adoption, it's no cakewalk and frankly would have been impossible had I not said goodbye to my dream of having my own child. There's nothing private about adoption and you're about to let a whole bunch of people in on your business. Follow your heart. You need to live with the fact that you did everything you could before moving on.

  3. its a difficult descion thats for sure, I would say explore your infertility options a little more before getting in to adoption, they are both difficult roads to walk, but you semem like your heart is still with ttc, and I get that so much, i still struggle esp. since I dont think I want to go down traditional domestic adoption again, good luck in whatever you decide, hopefully you will be a mommy soon!


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