THE ROAD AHEAD

Well it’s a new year, and with that I suppose all new things start. Looking back at everything we went through so far made me realize that after almost 11 years of marriage we are still alone. Our families have expanded and they have the most stunning boys my one sister in law has 3 and the other 1, and believe me when I tell you, their boys are adorable and truly stunning kids.

Then I look at myself and P, we have not accomplish any pregnancy and it makes me wonder if I will be dying one day and still be alone, and the thought is really unbearable. You know I sit and wonder why this is meant for me. It’s not as if I had the best life ever. My mother gave me, my sister and my 2 brothers up for adoption. They know nothing of me, and I off them. I grew up with lovely adoptive parents and lost my adoptive farther 9 years ago, I truly loved him so much and I think of him daily. Then I got married to the most wonderful guy. Yes we all have our problems but he is really supportive, and so our journey started as we wanted to expand our little family, but so far it’s a journey without luck. I know I will be a good mother, I know P will be the best father, but it now feels like that is one thing that will not become a reality for us, and it makes me sad.

P and I sat down the other night and really had a very good discussion. We were really looking at everything and all the possible ways that we will be able to have our little pink feet in our house. We spoke about Surrogacy, IVF’s and ICSI and so the list just grew. We were talking about everything we will be willing to do and what not, what we want in life, and what not, what we need, and what not, what we will cope with, and what not and… and… and… After this long discussion I think we finally decided, and I’m so glad we have decided together and we had exactly (well most of it) the same needs and thoughts about all of the processes. P and I have begun our process. The process of adopting our little pink feet…

We have made our first official appointment with an Adoption worker and we will be meeting with her on Tuesday 2 February 2010, I feel so many emotions at this stage that I don’t even know where to start. I am so scared, and all that it currently going through my mind is what if’s… yes I know it is still too early, but I am like that. I always try and see all the negatives and positives to every situation.

I don’t know all the laws and processes yet, and look we still have lots to learn, but I believe this is our first step again, and I will have to take it one day at a time whether it’s happy or sad, good or bad, we will get to the end of our journey one day!

If you know anything about the adoption laws and processes in SA, please send me some comments.

I would love to hear from you!