07 January 2008

In search with no Luck!

To begin a message like this is not a very easy thing to do. I have longed for so many years to actually get to the day that I will be able to trace my past. Being 1 of 4 children that has been adopted is not a very pleasant situation to be in… Well at least not for me, I have tried for so many years to track down my brother, that at times I felt that there will never be a happy ending to this fairy tale… Fairy tale, yes well, that is how I try to see this situation, cause in every fairytale, there is a happy ending… Unfortunately life just didn't have that planed for me, nor should I say till now, and let me just be positive about the future. You see I was the fortunate one, I have been fortunate enough to be adopted by the brother of my mother, and he and his wife has been very good to me, and has also encouraged me to find my siblings. You see my life of searching officially started on: 14/10/2003, this was the day when I got my first bit of information that I so desperately searched for. My mother fell pregnant with me and I was born in 3/12/79, after which my brother was born on 9/05/1981. My mother has past on shortly after that. I was however adopted like I said within the family, but my brother was not. When I reached the age of 18, my adoptive parents and I started looking for my brother; in my search I have contacted the registrar of adoptions in Pretoria for assistance. Never once did I think, that there might be any underlying secrets, well I opened up a whole big can of worms for myself, and the emotions that came with it. Well upon receiving information back from all the authorities and people I contacted I then discovered that I not only have one brother but in fact I have 2 brothers and one sister that none of the family members has been aware of. That seemed to be great news… so I think! And so immediately, I started looking for all of them. They are my blood, the only family I have left (except for my uncle who is also still alive, and thanks for that). Well I found that my one brother was born on 09/05/1981 and my other brother was born on 29/06/1978, and for my sister, she was never registered and therefore there were no records of her on file... This information really made me feel that this time I had the opportunity and information, enough for me to track my siblings and so the whole search began. Many forms had to be completed and sent of to the registrar of adoptions, in which they attempt to track your siblings. I posted information on the tripods web in desperation, and where ever I could find an adoption site… On 10/12/2003, I have received a call from the authorities, which informed me that they were not able to find my older brother due to the fact that both his adoptive parent had past away; As for my younger brother they found that the adoptive family were not aware that he might have any family that were alive and therefore they felt that they didn’t want to put him through, heartbreak and confusion. It just feels that my search had come to an end. A dead end - with no way out! I will do anything to finally meet them. I know to re-unite won't be easy for any of us, as we grew up in different families with different values and ways. Maybe it would be more difficult than I thought, but I would have liked the chance to be able to finally meet the 2 most important people in my life. I don't believe that anyone could understand the effect this search has on a person, until something like this happens to you. With this I end my Message, and wish all of you searching for someone the best of luck.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure as days go pass you might feel that you are running into dead ends. It seems as if you are really passionate about finding your family.

    With so much passion and will, I'm sure you will find your way. You will meet up with them.


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