04 February 2008

Weekend blues

Another week has gone by. This weekend was one of those existing but yet tiring. We had my step cousin and his wife over for the weekend, and being the 1st weekend that we have really spend with them away from the rest of the family, we really had the time to get to know them. They have a little boy, very stunning little boy. Then only thing is that going through everything in my life, I found it difficult as his wife was talking about her thinking that she might be pregnant. Yet another little bundle of joy might be added to their family, and I just can’t seem to make it happen. While she was talking of how she felt every morning… how she feels about the 2nd one that might be added and over and above that, my aunts’ brother got married in November and they are also pregnant. About 8 weeks now. All this makes me want to jump up and down, and throw one big tantrum. I just can’t seem to handle it anymore. Why is it that some of us have to go through so much in life to have a baby and for others it just happen. I know that my aunts’ brother mentioned on their wedding that they wanted a honeymoon baby, and in a blink of an eye, there it just happened. Man it feels like I want to pull my hair out. Over and above it all my cousins wife is very ecstatic about herself that might be pregnant, and that was basically all I heard all weekend. I know I have to be happy for them, and believe me I am happy for both. I am happy for the fact that they don’t have to go through what we are, but these ladies has got no idea how difficult it is for someone like me to hear this all weekend long, nor do they have any idea how it makes one feel to hear how easy it was for them, and here you are battling for as long as what you can remember. I just need to snap out of it today, life goes on, and time doesn’t stand still for anyone. So forgive me for the moan and groan, but I just had to vent somewhere.


  1. Hi Stef,

    I can’t say that I know what you are going through, but what I can say is that you are a strong person, who has gone through a lot already in life. I know you well enough to say that you will get through this. Keep faith.


  2. Girl just hang in there. You'll find your light at the end of the tunnel. It will happen.

  3. Hi Stefanie,

    Thanks for sharing this with us. You are truly an amazing person. You carry all this hurt & dissapointment around with you yet you always have a smile on your face. I miss interacting with you as often as we used to.

    God has a plan for you & Pieter. Keep up the faith.



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