28 February 2008
Stressed and over worked
I truly feel worn; I went for a interview today, which was great fun. Even though I feel so over-worked I managed to look at this interview in a positive light. It was one of those funny interviews where one already have the feeling that you have the position, and that it’s merely formality. This made me feel confident again. Confident in what I am worth in the industry, and confident that life is actually not so bad. Work is wearing me out and the hours and stress I have to put up with is just becoming too much, and then I’m not even talking about JHB traffic, which turns out to be a nightmare for me. Getting up in the morning much earlier to get to work, sitting in the traffic, and then get to work… work the day… get back in the car, sit in traffic, get home late and then still stress about my IF problems is just getting to me… Anyway, some lady here at work thought it will be a great idea to spend some time in my office, wanting to get to know her co-worker… which was not such a pleasant discussion. I think I just feel somewhat touchy. A guy stepped into my office and they were talking about the fact that they don’t really manage to get out a lot because of their obligation towards their children, so she asked how old mine were… I wish I could have given her an age, but unfortunately life just doesn’t have it planned for me yet. So you all know how that makes you feel, and she went on and on about her 2 children, how wonderful they are, how she gave birth, how easy it was to get pregnant, how easy she got pregnant with the second child. How wonderful motherhood is, and, and, and… So I feel crappy, I feel that life has let me down, that female-hood has let me down! I just start to wonder all over again why it is that people who don’t want children have then so easily, that children have children so unplanned and that people like me who desperately want a child in my life, are faced with a problem such as IF. Man life could be so unfair.