06 March 2008
Have you ever had one of those days, where you want to cry, laugh and speak at the same time…? Well today is one of those days for me… I want to be happy, I need to laugh, but at the same time I want to cry my eyes out. I feel sad, sad about how things are turning out in my life. I need to speak, speak to anyone who wants to listen, but I just can’t find the words to tell them what’s going on… I need someone close, someone who understands… Who understand ME! Dr phoned me for the second time in a week, they urgently need to see me regarding all my tests. My heart is skipping a beat, my mouth feels dry, and my body is in shock… What is out there… what is awaiting me? Emotionally I don’t always think that I am up to more heartache, I can’t deal with more disappointment… I can’t deal with any more fights, worries or disappointments’. But I guess that’s life... On a bit lighter note, I feel exited… I got a new offer which means soon I’ll be working somewhere else, and this could release some of the frustration and tension I need to put up with. I have also found myself again… I actually realised that I’m not old yet, and that life has actually a lot in store for me, and that you just have to keep your head high, because there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s strange how your priorities could become all skew when you have your mind set on only one thing. Well I believe that I have set my priorities straight again... I’ll live as if today is my last day, and enjoy every moment, and let these moments take my breath away. Love as if I have loved and gotten hurt before, and most of all I’ll keep my friend close, and my enemies so much closer… Have fun!