Messy Business

So as you might know by now, I went on my business trip to Secunda yesterday, and things just didn't work out the way they planned. So I'm back in Johannesburg in the office today doing some prep work, and will be going again tomorrow morning, up and down and up and down... one can't believe how tiring the trips are. Really not the best way to start or end a week, but I just have to see it through. like I said, I will leave again tomorrow morning and then return on Friday, spend the weekend at home with hubby and leave again early Monday morning.... 

The insemination went very well, and I really feel on top of the world, I go for the injections every morning and am very committed like I should be. Hubby even accompany me on my visit at the hospital for the injections in the mornings, which is great, at least I see he is also committed. He also started using the stamino-grow and sperm aid again (I suppose he's sceptic of what might happen with the fact that the sperm mobility and quality is decreasing), but he's at least willing and dedicated.\

We had a stunning weekend, and we were so excited about the Blue bulls winning... and just have to make arrangements again to watch them in action this weekend... but I suppose we have to wait and see what happens

HERE WE GO AGAIN

So here I am at the hospital having breakfast all on my own. Ha that's the first for me. I don't like to do these things on my own. Anyway, I saw Dr L on Wednesday, and after all the meds and injectables my follie is 24mm, jippy, jippy, there is only 1 but the 1 will do! So Dr injected me to start ovulating, and our planning once again started. So this morning Hubby had to be strong and face the little room, and I will be going in at 10 for the insemination, which will count as the day before ovulation, and then again tomorrow for the day after ovulation. Anyway while all these things is taking place in my life. I moved on from the site I was doing work for, was on training for 3 days, and as I finished off the last day got placed out for an asignment in Secunda. So I will be spending my next 2 weeks there and weekends with hubby. Not that I want to but hey that's the line of work I chose, and after the 2 week asignment hopefully I will know to which site I will be contracted out to. I suppose all good things comes to those who wait. Well that is it for today. I'll check in later and give you another update

PATHETIC... THAT'S ALL

Well last night at about 5:30 I received a call from the Drs’ offices, and they confirmed meds I had to start taking today… well this morning. Luckily for me, I was able to make quick arrangements as a lady that works in the chemist also stay where I do, I had to pay the pharmacy and then she could take it out. The only thing was that she worked from 18:00-21:00 which meant she only gets home at about 22:00. So at 22:10 last night, I drove to her house and picked up the meds that I had to start taking. So this morning, I got up before the break of day… and at about 05:45 I was sitting in the emergency services at our hospital for my injection. Well that’s about the only place that gives injections this early, as hubby is such a chicken, and I just can’t. I have Trypanophobia, now you might laugh, but it’s so... so... so true. Now going there for the first time as all the other times I could just take the injection at the fertility clinic, it was rough. I had to complete a form to open a file, which apparently I need to do every morning I come, they asked for my ID, medical card and prescription (which I didn’t took with me), so I explained that I don’t have the prescription with me and I will be able to fax it through, the lady agreed to the arrangement and made me sit and wait while they prepare… and I sat… and I sat. Then the head nurse (or what ever she is) came out, and gave me a whole story of they can’t inject me as…. (And I through my tamper tantrum) I just had enough of the waiting, I’ll be late for work as it is, and hubby to, I just couldn’t believe that they can take so long to inject someone with the meds and swaps the person already have with them… the other hospital didn’t have an issue. Anyway, I grabbed my injection stuff, and hubby just followed, got into the car at about 6:45 and went to the other hospital. Darn, if I just knew they would have these issues, I wouldn’t have gone. Anyway we were late, late for work that is. So I quickly dropped off hubby at his work, and went through to another hospital at the fertility clinic, and they gave me the injection without hassles. Never the less, I rocked up at work an hour late, frustrated and very temperamental. So this I would assume is going to be my every 2nd day routine, unless I can find the guts to just do it myself, and it going to become more difficult now with the fact that I’m moving between companies. I just don’t know how I’ll be able to manage with the appointments…. How do you all do it?

THOUGHTS OR VENTING YOU CHOOSE!

What happened to me after these last couple of years? I have always been such a happy go lucky person but these days I battle to see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm fighting a loosing battle in terms of finding my siblings and everywhere I turn on this no door opens but is closes. Sometimes it makes me wonder what I have done to deserve not meeting the little family I have. Yes I'm happy with what I have in life, but I still have this empty little peace which longs for the unknown people, called brothers and sister. The law prohibit so many things which makes it truly difficult to track them, over and above, I really thought by now, that my younger brother (who I happened to find through the registrar of adoptions, who's parents didn't want us to meet) that his adopted mother could have made it happen by now, but NOTHING... Sometimes I wonder why this all had to happen, and why, why, why was it suppose to happen to me. Why is it that I had to know about them, and they not of me? Will life give me the opportunity to meet them? My youngest brothers’ birthday was on Saturday the 9th of May and I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Then of cause it’s this curse of IF. Darn I just can't believe it all. I'm married 10 years... And nothing. No new addition to the family of 2. AF started on Sunday so I suppose another cycle awaits me. Tried to call the Dr's offices yesterday but something was wrong with their lines so I have to try again today. Then on the work front... Ya I’m finishing off. My last day is now Friday (15 May 2009). I actually can't believe I'm moving on. I’m glad for the new opportunity, but on the other hand I need to settle down, find something stable, and not something where I need to move around like this. I know its great exposure, but it's not as nice to not know where you will be the next day. I love the company I work for, they have truly looked after me, and there is no bad thing I will ever be able to say about them, as they care about their people, but sometimes it's difficult. Anyway, I think, pray and hope that things work out for me the way it should, and with that I need to say till later... Enjoy your day!

IT'S AN OFFICIAL BFN

Okay, so this morning while I did my blood work the lady that took the blood mentioned that on Monday when I did my first blood, just after me a 16 year old girl also did the same blood test. Hers of cause turned out positive and apparently she was devastated, but on the other hand there is me... so desperate, so hopeful and yet I am unable to obtain a BFP. So while I was listening this morning I truly hoped that this will be my day, but yet it isn't! Why, why, why... So I now received the results of my 2nd test which were done today, and it official. It's definitely not a positive. So no more tablets and Crinone gel for now. I'm awaiting AF which needs to show up before Friday next week, if it doesn't I will get some medication to bring it on... So there we have it.

8 Days Late

Ok so AF still hasn’t arrived which means I am already 8 days into my next cycle….

Is this good news or bad news?????????

This morning I went for another blood test as requested by Dr, and am awaiting the results… but while I wait I couldn’t have imagined how slow time goes by. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and when you’re not… darn, I wish I wish it could have been quicker.

I’m so hopeful, I’m so anxious, and I know I’m getting each and every little hope there is up. Am I in for a roller coaster ride of emotions when I get the results, or will I be overwhelmed?

Anyway, for now, I’m exited; and hopeful and hopefully this little bubble of hope and dreams wouldn’t blow up into tiny pieces of heartache

FUN IN THE SUN

They say that a break does one wonders, and I now believe it’s true. We officially took some time of from 24 April – 3 May 2009, to spend Fishing and camping trip with my hubby and his sister and brother with their families. Now the preparation didn’t really go as well as I planned for, seeing that I’m a firm believer in planning everything to the “T” but it all worked out wonderfully. My and SIL went through on Friday 24 April, and off cause as you know me, we got lost, but hey I did set the GPS to the coordinates we received, and by the time we reached our destination we were standing between rows and rows of corn farms. Eventually we had to turn around and head all the way back. So we reached the right destination this time, and with all the stuff we had to take through my poor little car was packed, and SIL had to keep the eggs on her lap to prevent them from crushing… look as this

Anyway we started unpacking and setting up our camp for the 9 days we will be spending there. So on Saturday our other SIL and BIL arrived with the kiddies, and they had to start setting up their camp, which turned out not to bad, but unfortunately because it was our first time at this spot, we got 2 stand opposite one another in stead of next to one another which resulted in a little space for everyone to catch and release their fish… So here is how the camps looked like Camp one (not close to the water)

Camp 2 (on the water)

So after everyone set up everything, the challenge started. Off cause the women had to be in a team against the men, to see who catches the most fish… and YA, we will not elaborate on the winnings but hey, even the children had their own competition going, and between the lot of us we caught and released 120 fish. Not bad hey… Here are some pictures of our catch

Then we also had some danger (A not so welcome visitor)

And lastly some pictures of the resort

And off cause, all good things come to and end…

AND LET'S JUST ADD ANOTHER

Got a call from the Drs offices just now, and I can officially add another BFN on my chart. I need to retest on Friday as she (the nurse) mentioned its possible for a false negative, but the chance is slim. So there we have it, AF needs to arrive, which still hasn't and by Friday if AF isn't here yet they'll give me stuff to make her arrive...

COUNTING HOURS

Hi there and thank you for each and every comment. I went through for my blood test this morning and await the results. Can't wait but I'm also scared. No Af yet and I'm 4 days over, but everyone says its because of the Crinone 8% gel that I'm using. Will keep you posted later today