Countdown Begins

I have started the final countdown to a wonderful festive season which we will be spending with friends and family. I just love this time of the year, seeing that it's so cheerful, loving and colourful. I wish every day could feel this way. anyway, Christmas shopping is done, I'm so glad that I managed to pull this off so quick as the shopping centres is really getting hectic now, and I hate it to be in such a crowded space. I also managed to pull a few strings here and there and ensured that we raise some funds for a charitable organisation which assists homeless children, and we had a splendid day with these children. Playing, eating and just having some fun in the sun. Now of cause, every Christmas and New Year is catered for at our home. Except for this year We will be spending the 24th and Christmas day at our home, and all the family will be joining us for some snacks, food etc. then off we go for New Year which we will spend at my family, where we will be going out for Old/New years dance. I have to say I can't wait... To all of you who have supported me during 2008, thank you very much for all your comments and mails, I really appreciated it, and hope to hear from you in the year to come. If you travel, please travel safely and may you have a fantastic festive season and a stunning start to 2009!

A whole mouth full

Well I haven’t been able to write anything since September and I have to be honest, I really didn’t feel like it either. Since then so many things has changed in my life. Acupuncture is still underway, I still go weekly to be punctured all over, not sure when this will become enough in my life… seeing that all little things is starting to get the better of me. I really feel so moody these days, and the slightest little things will irritate the living daylights out of me. I suppose it’s just the time of the year when one starts to reflect on the past year, and realise that you still have not accomplished what you so hoped for. On the other hand, our two pups are great; there isn’t a day that they don’t fill my life with joy. Devonté had a knee operation last month, and he healed very well. He is up and going again, and it almost seems as if he had no problem. On the other hand, Uschcá is growing up so quickly, she is so sweet… sometimes I really think we should have named her licky tongue, cause every time she comes close to you she starts to lick you all over. She is rally gorgeous. On 15 December my cousins’ wife gave birth to their second child a healthy little boy, but on the other hand one of my friends also miscarried on the same day… so you find yourself in a whirl of emotions, glad for the one and heartbroken with the other one, especially because they have also been struggling to fall pregnant for a while, and all we can do is be there for them, listen and support where we are needed. Work wise… now this is a challenge, we are restructuring, O yes, be big “R” word: Restructuring. With this it really brings up a whole bunch of stuff, and even though I am not a permanent worker for this company and only contracting through my company at this one, it still influences you greatly. For once in my life I could say that I really enjoyed the team I’ve been working with, and now some of us are moving out, we will join new teams. I suppose change is the inevitable, and we would just have to settle in where ever we are moved to, however the uncertainty is killing me. They say that a change is as good as a holiday, but I doubt if this change will be as good as a holiday if we just come from holiday. Now it’s just the big wait to see what and where to from now. Really not a great place to be in prior to the festive season, and having to deal with this till January when these changes will effectively take place. Ag but I’ll have to quickly learn to place these thoughts on the sideline so that I can have a great festive and New Year. I’m greeting for now, but will make sure I add something more often. Thank you for all the mails received from you all so far. Enjoy the day

10th Anniversary

Today is officially our 10th Year of marriage! I just can’t believe how time fly, and with that being said, I can’t believe that I’m 10 years married. Today 10 years back, I woke up and spend a wonderful morning with all friends and family I so dearly loved, and the afternoon, more friends and family who has been there for the both of us since we were little, till the day we were joined as husband and wife. There have been so many days which were not the all moonlight and roses, but there were also the days where we were able to share the most wonderful memories and we cherish every single moment we had. Today, is the most wonderful day of our life, where we can look back on all those wonderful years together and be able to spend more wonderful years together as husband and wife…

Testing 1…2…3 = BFN

Just a quick note on the posing added acupuncture session 8… I had to do the pregnancy testing as it still seamed as if I might be pregnant. It turned out a BFN

Had to get up fairly early this morning to get the doggies to the vet… first of all we had to buy one of those mouth guards for Devonté, as he wouldn’t let anyone touch him… then we rushed back, got the 2 doggies ready and off we go to the Krugersdorp animal hospital… Devonté was first… on the table he got examined, due to the fact that he has a limp on his left leg… never knew why, but just suddenly he started limping. After the examination, Devonté got some Rompun to make him drowsy and asleep for them to do some X-rays on him… what a mission, Pieter had to walk up and down with him, as he didn’t want to go to sleep. After he fell asleep, the examined his body… The Dr called us to provide feedback, and it looks like Devonté has to go in for a operation on his left knee. We just now need to schedule the time for him to go… see like daddy like son… cause Pieter’s right knee got operated on not to long ago… ha-ha- ha-ha Uschcá tagged along as she had to be vaccinated and got her 6:1 and also a prazifen tablet… I suppose that is for worms… After this big session we took the 2 of them home, where Devonté slept for most of the day to sleep of the injection.., Uschcá on the other hand couldn’t really understand why he is so sleepy and snappy…

Accupuncture Session 8

Another day of acupuncture, I really didn’t feel my bright and smiling self. We have gone through a difficult time as a family, and yes, I still suffer from my headaches. So today I went off to the acupuncture, which for once I truly enjoyed. As I arrived I had my pulse and blood pressure taken. Then off to the needles room… Well one in each arm I got just above the bend of the upper arm, 3 needles in the legs, one on the calf, the other just above the knee, and one in the ankle… on the tummy I got plenty, I stopped counting at 8 because I truly became a bit nervous, then one on the head, and one on each side of my forehead, which will help with the headache. Electrodes got connected onto the needles in my tummy, and now I just had to relax for 30 minutes… After my 30 minutes all the needles were removed, and me and hubby got some new herbals to take in the morning and evening with luke warm water for 2 weeks… Anyway, Dr asked me to have a pregnancy test done on Sunday, even though I had my period, it still seamed as if there might be something… so Hey such is life… we just need to hang in there and see

Ouma Wollie

Today is a very sad day in the whole family! My husbands’ grandmother passed away today, and as much as we all love her, we know she is at rest; she is in a better place, where there is no more suffering for her. Ouma Wollie you will always be remembered!

Administrator

Well I’ve seen a new administrator today, seeing that I had to work through a couple of Cv’s to find me a new administrator… now you would ask where the previous one is… and I don’t really want to elaborate to much about the subject but, all I can say is that some environments, stress, and people just can’t work together, so she decided to leave… anyway… I had to do everything on my own, and there were times that I felt that I’m never gonna see the end of the tunnel, or the little light shining at that end, will be one hell of a train… Ya well, at least I got through it, and interviewed a new candidate on 19 September 2008, which we did not take… and then again on today 23 September 2008, now this lady will be starting with me soon, thank you… thank you…! Time is of the essence, and I can’t wait for her to start, even though she will still have to settle in, and I know that they say that it takes approximately 3 – 6 months to settle in, it will definitely help a lot. Now we just have to wait and see whether she will take the offer, and when she will be starting….

Not Well

This weekend has just not started well for any of us. I am suffering with a huge migraine and we’re spending a lot of time in hospital. In and out, every visiting hour that ICU has. My husbands’ grandmother fell ill. While the whole family is standing there waiting for a turn to go see ouma, we all had some bonding time. We don’t often see everyone in the family as they are scattered all over the world, and it’s amazing how a illness can pull a family together.

What a start to a day

Another day arrived with all it surprises, this morning when I woke up I went down on my knees and really prayed so hard, I really want to be pregnant. After I prayed the normal daily routine started, shower, get dressed and off we go to work. We still had a chat in the car about the fact that I might be pregnant, and were discussing how and when we will actually let the family know… Anyway, got to work at about 8:00 this morning, because of traffic congestions, and as I walked in, I had to run to the loo… it felt as if my bladder was about to fall out, sjoe, ran and Ya… just guess what… She came, CD1 started, lightly though, but she’s here. I feel so de-motivated, so disgusted, so angry, so pitiful… I just want to sit in my little corner ad cry for the day! And I know I need to pick myself right back up, but what you know and what you’re up to is two very different things. Well now you have it, I guess we were all just wrong, I must have known, I must have known…!

Acupuncture session 7

Today was another day of acupuncture, and I’m sure it almost sounds like a monotonous thing, well it sounds and feel like it, but I will do anything and everything for an opportunity to become a mommy. I think people who aren’t struggling with fertility problems, don’t understand what we are going through. Even though they try and be so sympathetic, what the hell, I don’t believe it anyway. Anyway, there I was going for my seventh acupuncture session… got there and due to a Chinese holiday Dr L was unable to assist me and her husband also a herbalist and acupuncturist assisted for the day, seeing that Dr L needs to do the woman duties and cook for the big occasion. So there I was feeling a bit out of place because I’m a bit taken out of my comfort zone with the other doctor, but hey, lets just do this… So the Dr started by taking my pulse, and asked a couple of questions, how am I feeling, do I think my body is changing, do I feel stronger etc. and I started giving all the answers… I feel crappy, my breasts is tender, my head aches from time to time, my left ovary wants to pop out, and no sleep is not an option, I feel like sleeping beauty… I sleep, sleep and sleep my life away. Then he took my right arm, and started feeling my pulse on the right arm… now he asks to stick out the tongue, to which I had a giggle but did it anyway. He quickly excused himself and went out! Then Dr L stepped in with her husband, she then felt the pulse on my left arm, then the right arm, then both, and the babble on in a language that only they will understand, the more they talk, the more worried I became. Then she asked me again, how are you feeling, your breasts, tummy, do you go to the loo normal? To which I once again had to reply, breasts… mmm, are we talking about these two things on my chest that feels like overgrown grapes, it’s so tender / sore I want to cry if my clothing touches them, my tummy is fine, my ovary feels like they want to pop, and yes I run to the loo very often, but are a bit constipated… but I suppose there’s nothing about it, just the way of nature. Maybe it’s because my body is cleaning out or something who knows…. After the explanation once again I went off to the acupuncture room, there the two Doctors stood still talking in the foreign language, discussing where the needles should go, so I got a needle in the head, one on each arm on the bend of the arm, one in my lower leg almost on my foot on each leg, one on the calf of each leg, one just above the knee of each leg, and one on each side of my ovaries, there I laid and ponder on what the big discussion was all about, I laid there and ponder for about 45 minutes. After the session Dr L came to remove the needles, and she requested that I take new herbal medicine, 10 in the morning and 10 at night, with warm water… no food or drink 30 min prior to taking medicine, nor am I allowed anything 30 min post taking medicine… On my way out, I asked Dr L what they were discussing as it really made me very uncomfortable, I knew that they were discussing me, but what about me… she replied that I must go and relax, try not to stress, or pick up anything heavy, sleep as much as what you need, no hands above the head, and try not to get exited… I then asked but why… Dr L replied that she doesn’t want to say anything seeing that it might make me exited and I insisted that she please tell me, he reply was that “we think”… “We think… there might be baby in tummy, we now wait and see” my jaw fell open; I was stunned, now it’s the big wait. Obviously the herbalists doesn’t have any technology to test, and I would know 18 September 2008, as CD1 is due, and I’ll first see if I miss my period or what ever happens… now I need to be peaceful, and leave this for the BIG Man, to decide my faith. Thought I’ll share with you all, please remember me in your prayers.

Desperation

Why is it that when you are allowed to have anything, you don’t feel like having it, and when you aren’t you desperately need it…? This is how I feel today; I’m in need of tons of coffee… chocolates… and just everything else, and because Dr L said that I mustn’t drink coffee, now I want to… I love coffee and not being able to get the caffeine fix I usually get is draining me. Man life would be so great if I could have my coffee back, but I suppose anything and everything for a opportunity to become mommy.

Crazy day and accupuncture session 6

What a hectic day it was! Sjoe just before the weekend, I had to be up at sparrow fart to be at the hospital this morning. My best friend from schools little girl had to have her tonsils removed today. Anyway, as I arrived at the hospital I felt a bit stressed out as she wasn’t there yet. Phoned her just to make sure I didn’t mishear where she said they had it done. Eventually they arrived and the little one got checked in. In the room now this is about 06:10 AM we were all still droopy eyed sitting and staring at one another, except for the little one, she just wanted to go home. Eventually at about 8:00 AM they came to fetch her from the room to have her tonsils removed. My friend had to carry her into theatre while her dad and I were waiting outside in the waiting area. Shame my friend was so stressed out, I really felt for her. After the tonsils had been removed she came out of theatre screaming from the pain, we went to the room, where she didn’t want anything to do with her mommy, and were laying on daddies shoulder while she tried to calm down. After a while she woke up and sat with mommy. Then back to daddy, and so it continued for about an hour and a half, she then wanted to sit with “Tannie Stefanie”. O MY… I felt so uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure what everyone else’s reaction would be, but I took her and she fell asleep on my chest as I sat on a chair. There she slept off most of the gas or whatever they get. Now prior to her going into theatre daddy and mommy promised that they will go show her the new puppy in our home, so as we left she remembered and wanted to travel back with me. So mommy joined, and off we went to my place. As we arrived she had a look at the new puppy, sat and had a little coke and some cheese curls, after which they left. This was about 13:30, so not much time left for me before my acupuncture session. So I went and prepared and eventually took off to the acupuncture… JIPPY As I got to doctor L, she welcomed me, asked about the planning things, and off I went to the needle room. Once again I had to lay on my back, 4 needles in the tummy, 2 in the arms, 3 in the legs and one in the head… no electrodes and now… sweet dreams… zzzzzzzzzz After about 45 minutes, Dr L came to wake me, she then removed the needles, and I still felt drowsy, I could still have easily slept another 45 minutes. No bottles this time, no medicine, no medicine for hubby…. She removed the needle from my right ear, and placed a new needle in the left ear, which I need to wear for this week… my new session is scheduled for Friday…

New family member in our home!

All that know me will know that we got a little Chow puppy in 2006. He was born 01/06/2006 and we named him Devonté, after which we tried to get him a play mate, but with no joy. We truly had a huge struggle in finding him a thorough breed. I just didn’t want another breed as I love my chow. On Sunday 31 August 2008, we made a call to the people we got Devonté from to find out whether they have new puppies, but after a almost 2 year wait, and the fact that they don’t have any available, we thought to look somewhere else. I found an article in the Animal Talk and decided to phone around. Well seeing that it’s Sunday, very little people actually answered their phones, but I kept being persistent, I really wanted a mate for Devonté. I found an advertisement in the Junkmail, of a couple that has 2 males and 1 female puppy… and I quickly contacted the number… ring…ring…ring… no answer… tried another number, ring… ring… ring… voicemail, and so I kept phoning number by number, but no answer. Eventually as I was about to give up the search I decided to contact the one number, just one more time, maybe just maybe I’m lucky… Ring… ring… answer… I was flabbergasted, there’s an answer, I have tried so many numbers and tried so many times in the past and I actually have someone on the other end of the line…. Hi, my name is Stefanie, and I see you advertise about 3 Chow puppies… YES – he said. O, how old are they. 6 Weeks he said. How many do you have and are they male or female? 2 males and 1 female he said. Ok, well what colour is the female? Light brown he said, Red brown or cream? Almost cream he said. Please keep her I’m coming And Pieter and I jumped in the car and rushed off from the shopping centre to pick up our little puppy. What shall we call her? What about… Sasha… no please man, this is a common name for many dogs, shall we call her Shimondelé… no it’s to long and Devonté might confuse the names seeing that both will end with “é”… so we decided to wait a bit till we see her. Because how can you give anyone a name without seeing them and see what type of personality traits they have. Please just don’t tell me you think dogs don’t have a personality…. Anyway, we arrived in Pretoria and contacted the lady while outside their property. They came to greet us at the gate and took us to the back where all their Chows were. All 3 puppies were still very playful and played around. The lady picked up the female puppy, and handed her to me… She was so dirty. They were playing on red sand. As I held her in my arms she started snuggling up on my neck, really a sweet little thing. Pieter then handed the money over, and we left. She lay on my lap while we took the long road back to her new home… Uschcá… I think we should call her Uschcá, I said, and Pieter immediately agreed (sy lyk woes vuil) and because of this I thought that Uschcá will truly be a great name for her. So all the way back I played with her while she was nibbling away on my hair. Got home, and Uschcá had to meet her new brother in the family Devonté. Now Devonté didn’t really think this little bundle of fur was anything nice to play with, and every time Uschcá came running his way, he will make a U-turn and run the other way. She then eventually gave up! Never gonna catch him anyway! So last night they had their first supper together. And while Uschcá gobbled up her food, Devonté very relaxed nibbled on his. Uschcá then turned to his bowl, and her bum got the first hiding. Shame I really felt bad, but I don’t want them to fight over food, nor do I want them to become greedy. After the eating session, both of them joined us in the home while we watched two movies, Devonté then went out to do his usual rounds and Uschcá went to bed, where we made a little spot for her in the garage, seeing that she’s a bit small and I don’t want her to either fall into the swimming pool, or squeeze herself through the gate, and go running off. Now we just have to wait and see what the two are up to, and when they will actually get use to one another!

Acupuncture sessions 5

Once again another day of acupuncture and this time Pieter didn’t have to go again. Interesting how the acupuncture works though. When I got there, we first had a little discussion in terms of how and when to plan… so cycle day 11, 13 and 15 should be the priority on our calendar, plan, plan, plan and plan a little more. She then once again took my blood pressure, and off I went into the room, Dr Leigh requested that I lay on my back, take off my watch, socks and loosen my belt. Once again she opens her little needles one by one from the packet, placing them gently. She places one in my calf of each leg, placing the other one just above my knees, and one very low on my leg almost on the foot. Moving up on the arms, she places one in the forearm, one on the wrist and one almost on the bend of you arms. Then again the belly… mmmm, will I get electrodes this time? Or will I just be lucky enough to go without and have a nice snooze.. she palces 4 needles on the belly, in a cross like shape, and one on the head… Ouch! Ouch! And then she link the electrodes to all 4 of the needles placed on the tummy. I had to wait and feel when I feel the electrodes flow through the needles, and when it reaches the point where you feel all 4 she leaves it like that and you lay and have your snooze (if you can) for about 30 minutes. I have to say that for someone who is scared of needles it’s really not that bad. I started dozing off, and by the time I could feel myself going into a nice sleep, the buzzer went off and woke me. Aaa the time has flown by, time to take off the electrodes and remove all the needles. Once again Dr Leigh took her little glass bottles, and lit the piece of cotton, and then she placed it inside the bottle for it to start a little flame, and places the bottles on my back. If I’m not mistaken I counted about 6 bottles, hey but I can be wrong seeing that I don’t have eyes on my back. I sat there with these pieces of glass sucking away on the flesh of my back. It pulls the skin and it’s really becomes a bit sensitive after a while. So I sat for about 10 minutes while Dr Leigh also assisted another patient. After the 10 minutes had gone by, she came and removed the bottles on by one, and when she removes it, it really is a pleasant feeling, she then rubs and ointment onto these marks and off you go. She then also placed a little round needle this time in the right ear, I now need to have this in for this week, and she will remove the needle on Friday. No medicine for 2 weeks, and another acupuncture session coming up Friday. Poor Pieter still has to take his bit of medicine, 8 in the morning and 8 at night with luke warm water.

A nice thought for the week – The Power

Don't underestimate the power of a touch a smile a kind word a listening ear an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring all of which have the potential to turn a life around Life ends when you stop Dreaming, Hope ends when you stop Believing, Love ends when you stop Caring, Friendship ends when you stop Sharing. When you find a dream inside your heart,

Don't ever let it go,

For dreams are the tiny seeds, from which Beautiful Tomorrows Grow!

Have a Wonderful Week!

Acupuncture sessions 4

Hey there, we had one very interesting session this morning at 10:00 AM. Well first of all we had the electrician coming over to lay a new electrical cable in the garden, so that I can officially switch on the new garden fountain. I was so excited to get the fountain working. I think that my garden really looks like a fairy fantasy. Anyway, we had to be at the acupuncturist at 10:00 am for our first session together. Got there, and I had the same routine as normal, blood pressure is tested, some questioning in terms of CD1 which started, then the 2 needles again in the arms, 3 in the legs this time, 4 on the belly and one again in the head, but this time no electrodes were added onto the needles on the belly, instead a little box were placed on the lower belly, with some stuff that they burn in there. This warms up the belly to relieve some of the pain. So there I lay for 30 minutes, while I was laying there Pieter also started with his session. He had to lay face done, he got 2 needles in the neck, one in the arm just below the bend, one in his legs just above the ankle and 4 on his back in a cross like shape, and off cause he got electrodes added on the needles on his back, and he had to lay for 30 minutes. After I completed my 30 minutes, once again the bottle warming session started and I got 5 bottles. One at the top of my spine, then 2 underneath that, another 2 underneath that, and the last one almost on my bum, and while I was waiting for the 10 minutes to pass, the doctor came to explain the medication that Pieter has to take. He also has to take 8 little herbal tables with luke warm water in the mornings and evenings. I just continue with the medicine I was given in my previous session. After the 30 minutes that Pieter had to lay there, he also started with his bottle session, he got 4 one on the top of his spine, 2 underneath that on his kidneys, and one almost on his bum… and he waited. After the session we both were so relaxed and really felt so good. We drove home and discussed the weekend that was still ahead. What a stunning peaceful weekend! Hope your weekend was as great as mine!

Acupuncture sessions 3

Another day of acupuncture! And she changed my medicine today. Sometimes I can’t believe that I am actually going through with this needle thing. The more I think about it the more I realise how desperate I have become. Desperate for a child in our life, I would never have done this type of thing before, and here I am, the 3rd session, and not that I am forced, I am going out of my own. So the same old story… blood pressure, take off watch, shoes, socks and loosen up everything around the waste. This time a little more needles is involved she explained. So once again 1 needle went into my calve, the other needle goes just above the foot, the other above the knee, again one in the forearm, the other just as you bend your arm on both ends, this time 4 in the belly, and one again in the head… Hells bells that one hurts… once again the electrode machine are placed on all these needles in the belly, and you are left to lay there for 30 minutes. And again After the 30 minutes the timer went off, and she came to remove all needles. Then she took the bottles and this time 6 of these and she lightens them up, places it on my back again and made me sit there for about 10 minutes this time… when you move it almost sounds like bells coming from afar, meantime it bottles hanging on your back…. What a silly thought anyway. I can’t see why this bottle thing should work, but hey, I’m not the doctor. They know best and they understand the body much better than what I do, so I just keep believing this is going to work and have faith. Once again she comes and removes these bottles hanging like grapes from my back, pulling off one by one, and she rubbed the ointment in. Every time she does that, its really a relieve. I love the smell. It smells like peppermint… and it gives your back a tingly feeling… it warms your back and you really feel great after that… except for the marks these nasty little bottles leave on your back for weeks! Anyway, at the end of this session, she removed the little nasty devil of a round needle from my ear. What relieve one can’t imagine how such a little piece of steel can hurt you! Thanks goodness its out

Acupuncture sessions 2

Here I am once again at another acupuncture session. Well today is different as hubby decided to join me seeing that he is at home, due to his operation. So he had a seat on the bed opposite to where I was laying. Once again the same little routine, blood pressure, take off watch, socks, shoes and loosen everything around the tummy… and almost the same as the previous session happened, so not really much I can tell you which was different. Except for the fact that this time hubby was there with me, this was really a pleasant experience for me! Anyway, she then turned to me at the end of our session and had a tiny little tweezers and a packet in her hand. She then explains that she will be placing a little round needle in my ear, she will start with the left ear, just to ensure that my body strengthens quickly. She then placed this little round needle in the top of my left ear with the tweezers and I had to walk with that for a whole week, until I see her again, man o man… how does anybody scared of needles survive that….

Hubbies operation

I’m not really the type of person that loves a hospital nor do I like to have anyone operated on! Unfortunately hubby had to be in the hospital today 7 August 2008 for an arthroscopy! Now this is not really a biggy, but when he normally comes out of theatre he is moody and obviously full of pain, and that I can’t really handle well. I quickly feel sorry for him and wants to cry my eyes out because there is just nothing I can do for him… Pieter had to be at the hospital at 12:00 which gave us some time to do a bit of walking around in the shopping centre, we bought some new clothes and just spend time together. Which was really nice… at about 11:35 we went through to the hospital as Dr Botha normally starts the procedures at about 13:00. Pieter got booked in and spend a couple of hours lying there… He only went into the theatre at about 14:45, I truly felt sorry for him as he couldn’t drink or eat, and prior to him leaving for theatre he already complained he was hungry… He is a little cuddly bear, and loves his food… and so the procedure began… Let me explain what an arthroscopy is… Arthro mean joint and scope is to look. Therefore a knee arthroscopy allows the surgeon to view inside your knee and directly inspect the bone and structures within. An arthroscopy is commonly known as “Keyhole surgery” these incisions are minimal and therefore reduce scarring and allow quick recovery. During the procedure a small camera-type device is inserted into the knee and this relays a picture to a television screen. At the same time instruments can be inserted into the knee so that surgery can be performed. There are a couple of reasons for this to be done; I think the picture will give you an indication A knee arthroscopy is almost always performed under general anesthetic. In most arthroscopies, three small incisions are made at the front of the knee. One incision is to insert the arthroscopy, the other to insert the instruments required during the procedure and the third to attach a tube that inflates the knee with fluid. Most arthroscopies take between 30 – 60 minutes to perform. At the end of the operation, the fluid is drained from the knee. Stitches are required to close the wounds Local anesthetic is injected into the knee to minimize discomfort after surgery, and adequate information on what to do with the dressings, padding and stockings will be given to you on the day of your surgery. With modern anesthetic techniques, most patients usually wake relatively quickly and are aware of their surroundings within one hour of the end of the procedure. So… on his way out of theatre this time, which were of cause the second time he had a arthroscopy done, he was telling everyone how nice the people in theatre is… How stunning the narcotics doctor were and the fact that he had a dream but can’t remember what… he told this story to everyone about 10 times!! Ha-ha! Then hubby realized that his thought has been blocked off, his tummy growls and he really can’t deal with his feeling! He is hungry! He sat up as the one nurse came with a plate of stew, which was just enough to feed a 5 year old. As he finished the food he started moaning and groaning and making jokes that he feels like having ribs and beer. Not long Dr Botha came around and visited everyone that was done by him for the day. Dr Botha laughed so hard when Pieter explained that he is hungry and wanted to go home, that he discharged him to go eat! Ha-ha! Anyway, everything seemed to have gone well, they removed some of the little bones and cleaned out his knee, now it’s rest for a whole month… nice! I took hubby out for Spur, seeing that he was so hungry, the poor man finished his whole plate and on return home he already started to feel sleepy. When we got home, he took his pain medicine and went to bed… This was another day of our lives.

Acupuncture sessions started

Well after a couple of months only taking medicine, I have now started with the acupuncture again. I have contacted a Chinese herbalist and started acupuncture through them. I have to say that starting the acupuncture was not a pleasant thought seeing that I am such a sissy when it comes to needles. Needless to say, more that one needle normally makes me want to faint. Anyway, got to the rooms, and met Dr Leigh, what a stunning lady. She truly made me feel very comfortable. She did my blood pressure testing, and explained the whole procedure and how acupuncture will affect my body, she also asked a couple of questions relating to our infertility. After this we went through to a room with massage like beds, heaters, machines etc… To start of, I had to take off my watch, socks and loosen my belt. When she entered she explained where she will be placing her needles and on what we will be focussing for the first couple of sessions, and so she started. Opening her little needles one by one from the packets, putting one in my calf of each leg, placing the other one just above my knees of cause both legs, then moving up on the arms, she placed another in my forearm just above my wrist, and the other just where your arm bends on both end of the bend… once again both arms, then she opened my belly, and place seven needles on my belly, couldn’t really see the pattern she formed, and then she smiled and said only one more left… She took the last little needle and pushed it on top of my head… OUCH! Anyway, she places a little electrode machine on each of the needles in my tummy, and with the pulse flowing through these needles I laid there for 30 minutes, and relaxed… that was nice through. After the 30 minutes the timer went off, and she came to remove all needles. Not bad, not bad at all. Then she turned around and took 4 little glass bottles, a piece of cotton, and a lighter. I thought what the… she then puts the cotton wool in surgical spirits, and lightens this, put it in the bottle, and then quickly places this on my back in like a cross shape. One by one she did the 4 bottles. I could feel the bottles sucking in my skin, and the cooler these bottles becomes the more it pulls your skin… It’s really not a pleasant feeling while you sit there and these 4 bottles hangs like grapes from you back… after about 5 minutes or so, she then removes these bottles from your back one by one, as she pulls them off you feel the relieve and heat coming out of that spot, she then takes some or other ointment which she rubs into your back. This apparently in conjunction with the bottles helps for your blood flow and alleviates some month end pains… Well after this, the session came to an end… I really felt good, that I can tell you! She handed me a bottle of round little tables, which I need to take 10 every morning and every evening with luke warm water. Lets’ just wait and see

Not so good news

Today was a very hectic day. A day full of surprises, heartache and emotions… Well Pieter had to go back to the specialist who has seen him about 5 years ago for his knee which gave him some trouble. After the operation he had 5 years ago, pain started to creep back into his life, and eventually it became such a issue that I decided to make an appointment with the specialist. Which I think was the best thing I would have done. Anyway, we came in early morning so that we will be able to do what ever needed to be done at work prior to leaving for the appointment. I decided to go for a ear test, seeing that I know that my left ear has been giving me issues since I was a teenager, but never to any extend that I had to get anything for it. Every now and then, lets’ just say once a year, I needed to go back to have my ears checked due to family problems. So eventually we left work, and off we went to the doctors rooms for the knee and for my test. So while Pieter was waiting to see the doctor, I ducked out to go see the Hearing testing centre. Well there I was, sitting in the reception room which were very cold, no people around. I guess not everyone would think of having their ears checked out ever so now and again. So the Doctor came in, she took me to the testing room and explained the procedure which we will follow… Now off I went into a little in fined space, with a seat a little window, lots of earpieces and a door that closes to close to you that anybody will become cluster phobic. First we started with the right ear, and while I was waiting for these little sounds to creep through and push this button every time I have heard the sound, I was watching her every move through this window. Every now and then she will look up and give me a smile. Mmm what was the smile all about…? So you have the high pitched sounds, then a bit of lower pitched, then funny other in between pitched sound and obviously every sound comes through with a different tone… so there I was pushing this little button, 1, 2, 3, 4…etc, then the other ear which is the left, and as these sound comes through she is making funny looking circles on a piece of paper, well not that I have any choice I wanted to have it tested. So there I was 1, 2, 3, and 4 and so it continued. After the first set of testing, she came around, opened the door and said that she will be putting on a new piece of equipment that translate the sound through the bone of your skull, just behind the ear, so once again I had to sit and press this little button every time I hear the slightest bit of the sound… It almost feels as if your brain is playing tricks on you, as suddenly you hear funny sounds and very fainted sounds and your not sure whether this is the actual sound or is this just your ears singing… anyway, after the testing once again she comes around, then added another piece of equipment onto this thing, which now makes a whoosh sound, like white noise in the one ear and they would test the opposite ear… This is truly not fun, the more I hear the whoosh the less I hear the sound; well it can’t be that bad because I hear the sound… So after she has tested both ears, around she came, and took off all these things that made me look like one or other escaped alien, and took me through to anther room, for the feedback. Hey at least I am prepared, cause I know that the left ear is giving issues, so if she mentioned that I might go deaf in the left ear, I already know… so in she came… Our conversation started with her telling me that her receptionist is also deaf, and that she wears a little device in both of her ears, which enables her to hear. (Ya right I though, so what does this have to do with me) I hear fine, just very soft things is an issue… then she continued, that the receptionist can’t hear anything unless she wears the devices and that it is truly a big change for once family to get use to this change. So I thought, okay once again I’m not deaf. She moved over, took out a box of tissues and took one from the box as if she wanted to use it, but she left the box on the table. Well she said, people who can hear normally between 1 – 20 decibels, but for me I only start hearing on about 45 – 50, and she is sorry to say, but I have lost some hearing. So ya I knew that hearing has been lost in my left ear, so what’s the big fuss, but she continued, you have lost a lot of your hearing in both ears! HELL WHAT? She continued… you will have to start wearing a hearing aid in both of your ears, and all I could think of was the fact that I might not be able to hear soon… She continued, the hearing aid will be able to assist you in such a way that you might be able to hear between the decibel ranges people with no hearing disability, however, this will depend on how your system deteriorates over time, and you might loose more than what you have already lost. The device has the ability to rapid process data, reduce noise, directionality for speech intelligibility, compressor for natural sound reproduction and it will not be completely visible. The hearing aids will be fitted into the ear canal, and only a slight piece might show from the ear. And while she is rambling off what the stupid device can do, I was crying my eyes out… I just couldn’t get the thought of not being able to hear out of my mind. I knew I never must have had the ears test, I knew, I knew… i started asking the stuff that was coming to mind, will I hear my baby if they cry… will I hear my family when they talk, will I be able to hear sounds like music… she started explaining that it will be a learning process for my body to get use to the piece of equipment, that I might not loose more hearing that I will be able to hear a baby if they are next to me, that children who speaks softly I might not be able to hear, I will be able to listen to music, but when someone talks while I listen to music, I will not hear them, that they would have to get my attention first… and so it just went on and on… until she said, you might not hear by the age of 40 and even sooner. So how in life will I manage, how will I hear if my child is speaking to me, how will I still be able to have the fun I have now, how will I be able to do the work that I’m suppose to do on a daily basis, I don’t think I will! How will I communicate, unless someone knows sign language, to communicate back? How will I facilitate any work session? I’m not going to make it, I’m not, and I’m not… Why…why is this happening… Happening to me… why me… So I grabbed all the stuff she had put in front of me, and I started walking out… now I had to go back while Pieter was waiting to see the Specialist, I need to sit there and face this with a smile still in tacked. Till such time I’ll be able to talk about it

My little scheming

What a supper stunning day… Got out of bed very early, had a whole mission of getting hubby out of bed that early, because obviously it is the only time anyone would lay in a bit, is on a weekend. Eventually got him out of bed to go take a shower, while he was preparing I quickly took out some clothes for him, and started preparing. So we jumped in the car, I set the GPS and off we went… So we arrived at Onderstepoort, at horse stables… Ya you guessed it, we are going out on a horse trail. So we got out the car, went in and got introduces to our horses, of cause I had to get the naughtiest horse you’ll ever see… and poor Hubby got a lekker stubborn one… So off we go for a 3 hour ride in nature all around a dam. To start off with the horse Pieter was riding liked kicking and biting, never did I know that mine was naughty except for the little the people told us. What a stunning ride, all the way to a venue. There we left the horses in a camp with water and food, and took a walk into the venue to have some drinks, food and a nice peaceful rest. So after the hour we went back to the camp, starting to saddle up the horses again, and bribe them with peanut snacks because some of them would just not let you saddle them unless you had a snack. Lucky for us we bought some peanut snacks at a little tuck shop over at the resort. So after saddling up the horses, we took another route all the way back to the stables. Which turned out to be greater fun, as a group of people joined in and we were playing games, then eventually we had to cross a river, which was really just a stream, but NO the horse Pieter was on, just didn’t want to do anything. He got into the water and froze, he started drinking water, looked around, drank water and… after a whole big fuss to get him out of the water, eventually he started trotting along. Then of cause, mine (Hansa) had to start with his nonsense. You wouldn’t imagine how naughty this horse can be. His ears will pull to the back and he will start running to the first horse he spots, not matter what, bite him on the bum, and slowly starts walking again as if nothing has happened. In the meantime, the poor horse that got bitten on the bum will get this huge fright and sprint away with the person riding him. The poor people who got their first experience on a horse… Now you see them no you don’t… they were hopping and bumping until such time the horse came to a halt. I actually also felt this when Pieter’s started to nibble on Hansa… He ran like you wouldn’t believe, and all the way I’m pulling and flying and now stopping Hansa, I’ll tell you what a mission to get Hansa to stop. So we eventually got back at the stables and got off the horses, the horses saddles were taken off, and they were fed some carrots and stuff for their good behaviour. Ya right. So we decided to call it a day So with that it had to end… but I will definitely do this again. Pieter enjoyed himself so much, that he wants to go back very soon, and maybe take some of our friends and their children along. It was really a very pleasant day, out in nature and in the sun. We had a stunning time, and laughed without thinking of all your worries.

Happy Birthday Pieter

Today is my hubbies B-day… HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIETER! Anyway, not much planned for today seeing that it is on a weekday, but can’t wait for the weekend though. Some friends will be coming over on Saturday for a braai, as Pieter loves to have friends and family over on his birthday, and tonight we will just have some snacks and cake over at his moms’ house. So not really much planned, except for me scheming… I really want to take him out. Just the two of us for something nice and relaxing… Will let you know after Sunday, can’t let it slip now

Testosterone

Well I have been reading everything went on every web read a couple of books and so forth, and everywhere you turn the word Testosterone appear. Now I know that most of us know what testosterone is, but for those who don’t here it is: Testosterone is a steroid hormone from the androgen group. In both men and women testosterone plays a key role in health. They say on average and adult males’ body produces about forty to sixty times more testosterone that a adult body of a female, but females are more sensitive to the hormone from a behavioural perspective. So there you have it!

Differences in infertility

Infertility

• Couples is seen to be infertile if
• The couple has not conceived after 12 months contraceptive-free
• The couple has no conceived after 6 months of
• A female is incapable of carrying a pregnancy to term

Sub fertility

• A couple that has tried unsuccessfully to have a child for a year or more is said to be sub fertile.

Primary vs. secondary infertility

• Couples with primary infertility have never been able to conceive, while secondary infertility is difficulty conceiving after having conceived and carried a normal pregnancy.

Unexplained infertility

• Infertility investigation shows no abnormalities, but no pregnancy occurs

Our dearest male issues

Mmm, the last couple of days were focussing basically on females, and yes I suppose that some of us wouldn’t even consider that there might also be issues with our loved one. I know that sometimes we might also have a huge struggle to either get hubby there or the get him to be tested for some of the stuff. I know, because I had a huge struggle. Not to sure whether it was the fact of the testing or is it because he didn’t want to be told that the issue could be his… anyway… here are a couple of things to think about.. Although some people still think that fertility problems is only a woman’s problem. So it is crucial that men get tested for fertility as well as women. Some men may want to put off being tested out of embarrassment, but early testing can spare the partner a great deal of discomfort. Like you would have read by now the first thing to do is to go to the doctor. After a physical examination, your doctor will probably order a semen analysis, which will check the qMmm, the last couple of days were focussing basically on females, and yes I suppose that some of us wouldn’t even consider that there might also be issues with our loved one. I know that sometimes we might also have a huge struggle to either get hubby there or the get him to be tested for some of the stuff. I know, because I had a huge struggle. Not to sure whether it was the fact of the testing or is it because he didn’t want to be told that the issue could be his… anyway… here are a couple of things to think about.. Although some people still think that fertility problems is only a woman’s problem. So it is crucial that men get tested for fertility as well as women. Some men may want to put off being tested out of embarrassment, but early testing can spare the partner a great deal of discomfort. Like you would have read by now the first thing to do is to go to the doctor. After a physical examination, your doctor will probably order a semen analysis, which will check the quality and quantity of the sperm in the semen. If the first analysis is normal, your doctor may order a second to confirm the results. If the results look irregular, your doctor might order further test to pinpoint the problem There are a number of potential problems that this analysis detects. These include: Azoospermia - No sperm are produced, or the sperm aren't appearing in the semen. Oligiospermia. Few sperm are produced. Motility – sperm aren’t moving normally Morphology – problems with the form and structure While these conditions may be the direct reason why we can’t conceive they themselves may be caused by an underlying medical condition which could be investigated further by blood and urine tests or other procedures Other Factors that may cause male infertility is things such as: Excessive exercise Stress Too many Steroid hormones Drugs, alcohol or tobacco Heat Hormonal problems No many of us don’t really want to seek any advice and would rather want to try and help you, they say by doing the following it is perceived to promote fertility Eat healthy Regular exercise Maintain weight in your ideal range Do not smoke Keep alcohol consumption within limits Do no use any recreational drugs Well I think that sums it up for now…

Estrogen and Progesterone

Now a bit more about estrogen and progesterone, this is mentioned on each and every page about fertility. To start off with estrogen, estrogen is a group of steroid compounds, named for their importance in the menstruation cycle and functioning as the primary female hormone… Progesterone is a C-21 Steroid hormone involved in the female menstrual cycle, pregnancy and embryogenesis. Progesterone belongs to a class of hormones called progestogens and is the major naturally occurring human progestogens.

More about the swimmers

Now I have mentioned in my previous post a bit about our little swimmers… and wanted to provide a bit more information on this topic. To enhance sperm health it is believed that a diet rich in antioxidants is vital. Our little swimmers, swim through the cervix and move into the uterus. Now they swim from one end of the womb to the other to finally reach the fallopian tubes, and of cause by now most of our little swimmer have likely not made it this far, and there a various reasons why this happens. If our little swimmer is lucky, the woman has just ovulated and the egg is on the way, if not, they wait around for our ovulation, or for the egg to drop. When the egg appears it takes one single swimmer to fertilize the egg. As you will see, when it comes to getting pregnant the health of our little swimmers cannot be neglected. In 2006, a 90-day independent clinical study on fertility supplement, FertilAid for men, was conducted with significant results. The results of the placebo-controlled clinical study revealed that FertilAid for men supported a significant increase in total normal motility. Sperm motility is the capacity to move in a forward- moving manner. Normal motility is one of the key benchmarks in determining overall male fertility health. Now with that, I end the information for today. Happy reading

Fertilization and a bit more

Well like you would know by now, a sperm must meet and fertilize an egg, and you also know that there are so many factors that affect this, and which also affect your fertility, these of cause include the timing of ovulation, how long the egg lasts and if you had a strong swimmer present. Now for ladies with a regular cycle it is easy to calculate when ovulation occurs, because ovulation almost always happens 14 days before you expect your period to start. For those ladies with a 30 day cycle, you can expect to ovulate 16 days after the last period, which is 14 days before the next one… Now some of us aren’t that fortunate, and have an irregular cycle, which means we cannot predict when we will ovulate, in retrospect, we can calculate that ovulation occurred 16 days before a period, which really doesn’t help in planning a pregnancy. At least there are ovulation predictor kits to determine when we will ovulate; these kits detect the rise in hormones that occurs before the egg is released. It is said that a egg last approximately 24 hours after we have ovulated and if sperm are available during this 24 hours window, we can still get pregnant, we can still get pregnant by planning anywhere from several days before ovulation to the day after ovulation. It is believed that if you ovulate on day 14 you can get pregnant anytime between day 9-15 and maybe day 8-16 as well. Another question a lot of women have is of cause the one old question, how long till I’m pregnant. Now many women are surprised when they don’t fall pregnant the first month they try, and they say it normally takes about several months to become pregnant. Studies shows that 50% of women will be pregnant in the first 4 months, 75% will be pregnant in 8 Months and 90% will be pregnant within a year. Should you have been trying for longer that 1 year it is believed that you should make an appointment with a gynaecologist or an infertility specialist for complete examination and testing.

Issues with our dear female system

Well as we all know that there a quit a few things that can go wrong with the female reproductive system, and I know that this is sometimes the last thing anyone wants to think about, but it’s unfortunately one of the things we deal with a women. Women may sometimes experience reproductive system problems. Obviously this is just mentioning a few, but I am very sure that I’m missing a whole lot of things, but some of them are:

• Vulvovaginitis, Painful swelling and redness (inflammation), it could be caused by irritating material (e.g. soaps or bubble baths). One of the things that could also contribute is poor personal hygiene, in the event where you wipe from back to front after a bowel movement… not a pleasant thought I know, but it happens.
• Ectopic pregnancy, Ectopic means “out of place”. With an ectopic pregnancy, a fertilized egg has implanted outside the uterus, the egg settles in the fallopian tubes in more than 95% of these pregnancies. It is also commonly called “tubal pregnancies”
• Endometriosis, well I think that this is the most popular one, because so many of us have been treated and operated for this. Anyway endometriosis is when tissue normally found only in the uterus starts to grow outside the uterus in the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or any other parts of the pelvic cavity.
• Varian cysts, this is normally noncancerous sacs which are filled with fluid or semi-solid materials. They are common and generally harmless, but could become a problem if they grow large.
• Polycystic ovary syndrome, abbreviated PCOS or PCO, is an endocrine disorder. According to all searches conducted the principal features are weight problems, lack of regular ovulation/menstruation, and excessive amount or effects of androgenic hormones, it is said that the causes are not really known, but insulin resistance, diabetes and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.

Now we all know that there are also a large number of menstrual problems which can affect females, it is believed that some of the most common conditions are as follow:

• Dysmenorrhoea, this is when you have painful periods
• Menorrhagia, this is when you have a very heavy periods with excess bleeding.
• Oligomenorrhea, menstruation occurs at much longer intervals than normal or skipped

Some thoughts on the reproductive systems

Haven’t you ever wondered how the reproductive systems work… well as we all know all living things reproduce! In the human reproductive process, to kinds of gametes are involved, (gamete = wife, gametes = husband this is a cell that fuses with another gamete during fertilization) the male gametes and the female gamete, meets in the female’s reproductive system to create a new individual. Well I suppose this is information for beginners but hey not all of us knows everything, and I am also learning from stuff I read daily. So I thought that you wouldn’t mind reading this as well…. Unlike the male the female has a reproductive system located entirely in the pelvis, this just shows you that once again women are different from males, not that this is a shocker to anyone reading (ha-ha) anyway your uterus is shaped like an upside-down pear. It has a thick lining and muscular walls. Did you know that your uterus contains some of the strongest muscles in the female body? Well if not, it does, so you know now! At the upper corner of the uterus, you have fallopian tubes, which connect the uterus to the ovaries, you fallopian tubes are about 10 centimetres long and about as wide as a piece of spaghetti, within each tube is a passageway, about as wide as a sewing needle, at the other end of each fallopian tube is a fringed area that looks like a little funnel. The fringed area wraps around the ovaries but isn’t completely attached to your ovaries. When an egg comes out of an ovary, it enters the fallopian tube, in the fallopian tube, tiny hair in the tubes lining help to push the egg down the passageway towards your uterus. Now you ovaries are also part of the endocrine system because they produce hormones (Female Hormones) such as estrogen and progesterone…. Your ovaries are oval-shaped and lie to the upper right and left of the uterus, which produces, store and release eggs into your fallopian tubes when ovulation occurs. Each of your ovaries measures about 4 – 5 centimetres in a grown woman. The female reproductive system enables a woman to produce eggs, protect and nourish the fertilized egg until it is fully developed and to give birth. Now approximately once a month, during your ovulation, an ovary releases an egg into one of the fallopian tubes, unless the egg is fertilized while in the fallopian tube, the egg dries up and leaves the body about 2 weeks. The egg leaves the body through the uterus, and the process for this is called menstruation. Now I’m sure I don’t have to explain the menstruation process, because most of us just hate the thought of it, but on average the monthly cycle for an adult woman is about 28 days, but it rages from 23 to about 35 days. Well I guess that this is all I have for now, hopefully someone could benefit from the details added, if not I noted this as this is a journey I embarked on, and what ever I experience or read I want to be able to go back and read this one day. For those of you who has been following my blog, thank you for your great assistance, and I hope I have not bored you with the details of our dear female system….

Charting

Mmm, I have not been able to chat to anyone in a very long time, nor did I post any feedback or information since March, so I thought today will be a good day to start sharing again. I guess that for the time I have not been able to blog, or read anyone else’s blog, I missed out on so much information and so many frustrations, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll ensure that I read your blogs and get up to date on your progress as well. A word of thanks to everyone who has supported me, and contacted me while I didn’t find the time to write I have met up with a couple of ladies who is in the beginning of their TTC. Some of them have not even started but is planning to conceive, and normally I’ll get so upset and frustrated with the questions, but for some reason I feel better about my situation, I think I have made peace with the fact that not everyone has problems, and that I can’t feel angry towards them. I also found that a lot of these ladies don’t even understand their own bodies, which is the scariest thought of it all. I sometimes wonder how many women is out there who don’t understand what their bodies are telling them, maybe I would have been uneducated about my body to if it wasn’t for the fact that I battled to conceive. Who knows, but I am glad that I have read everything there could be read. I just feel that knowing my body and understanding why I experience some of the things I do, makes a bigger difference than not knowing Anyway things have been hectic on my side, and fertomid has taken over my life. Ya well, 3 months have passed and no results yet for swallowing that little pill every morning, but I’m still going strong. Haven’t been able to go for acupuncture for a while due to work and family stuff, but will start again this week, or shall I rather say, will book and see when I’ll be able to find a spot. In a previous note I have chatted a bit about ovulation, and for some reason a couple of ladies has been asking a lot of questions related to temping and charting, so I decided to get the information and add this to the blog. It makes it easier if people want to read the information. We all just have a few fertile days in each cycle. By charting our information it will allow us to pinpoint the days we can conceive, but keep in mind, that this is an indication and for some it might not be possible to conceive on their own. By charting you’ll be able to find out when you ovulate based on your temperature entered as your temperature will rise closer to ovulation, and obviously blood test could also be done to determine whether you do ovulate. You will also be able to monitor your cycle regularity. A chart provides you with the opportunity to track and document your conception journey, and you will be able to print out the information once you need to have it available for an appointment with your healthcare provider, to enable you to provide all necessary information. There are many WebPages out there which can assist you in online charting, I only used the online facilities, but soon one tend to forget to record the details and I forgot the details when I had the time to record. So I made use of a printed chart, which I record my details on, and then retyped it into my online chart, which helps me, but what ever works the best for you. You’ll quickly realise which will be the best option for yourself. A lot of these sites will also be able to calculate ovulation detection based on your fertility signs you add into the chart, it tracks your cycle and provide you the option to go back into the details to monitor things like temperature, cervical fluids, when you use tests, what type of test you have used within the timeframe, and also when you have used any assisting medication. It provides functionality to graphically see your signs and some sites provide you with the feature to plan pregnancy test dates, track any factors which influences your fertility (Such as weight) and you will be able to calculate potential due dates should you fall pregnant. Well this is only mentioning a few, you will be able to go into the sites and see which the best chart is for you. What work for one doesn’t necessarily work for everyone!

True Friends!

So many times, we sit and wonder why our road crosses with someone else’s. Today I know that I am truly blessed. One tend to forget that there are truly people out there who cares about you, even though you don’t see one another or speak to one anther very often. I truly have a special friend. We met one another through the company that we work for. We landed up at the same site as project managers. At times we felt like killing one another as we had different frustrations and view points, and at best of times we were there to support one another through very difficult times. I truly learned a lot from this person. We got moved to the same site again, after the previous assignment, but moved on to another site shortly after our move... I will always cherish the times that we had worked together. Yesterday 15 May 2008, was the crappiest day of my life. I had project issues piling up, screaming people, and hours of meetings and late night work and I truly didn’t feel up to everything. I just had it. Got to my desk, and there were a note from someone that I am not familiar with, saying that he wants to come and see me... I responded on the note... knowing that I don’t feel up to it... so I asked why? Eventually I phoned and asked why? He said, I need to bring you something... OOO! Came my response, so he brought me a little rose gift bag with a golden ribbon wrapped card... I got so excited I don’t even know whether I thanked him, started opening this gift, and to my surprise I got a Pixie. Now if you know me, you’ll all know that I collect pixies, and this is truly a stunning pair of pixies, a granny and oupa pixie, they are so sweet... I love it.... I love it... anyway, after opening the pixies I quickly turned to the card and started reading a wonderful message. A message of a guardian Angel... This really touched me in so many ways; I think I’ll never be able to express it all in words... Sabiena, you are truly an amazing friend. Thank you for all your encouragement, through better and worst times. I couldn’t have asked for a better caring person. Thank you very much for the gift, as you know, it really did brighten my day.

Fertomid - 50

Hi you all,

It’s been a while since I last posted anything on my blog, I just didn’t have the time to capture any thoughts or notes, but today I made sure that I make some time to keep you all posted.

As you know by now, our doctor has discovered that I don’t ovulate as regular as what I should. Hey there were actually something wrong with me, I now know after how many years of going through all kinds of test, but I’m not complaining, at least I know now. So on Tuesday 6 May (last week) I got my new prescription from the doctor to start using Fertomid-50. I have to use this from day 5 – 9. Well this is only 5 days, so who knows, I officially took the first tablet today 12 May 2008, and will take the last one on Friday.

Anyway, I thought I’ll give you some information of Fertomid-50, which I’m sure some of you know by now, but for those who doesn’t let me share...

Fertomid-50 is similar in composition to Clomid-50, and is prescribed for the treatment of ovulatory failure in women who wish to fall pregnant. The side effects occur infrequently and generally do not interfere with treatment.

Common side effects include:

• Abdominal discomfort
• Enlargement of ovaries
• Hot flushes

Less common side effects include:

• Abnormal uterine bleeding
• Breast tenderness
• Depression
• Dizziness
• Fatigue
• Hair loss
• Headaches
• Hives
• Inability to fall or stay asleep
• Increased urination
• Inflammation of the skin
• Light-headiness
• Nausea
• Nervousness
• Ovarian cysts
• Visual disturbances
• Vomiting
• Weight gain

Once doctor will evaluate you for normal liver function and normal estrogen levels before considering you for this treatment, he will also examine you for pregnancy, ovarian enlargements or cysts formation. He will do a complete pelvic examination before each course of this medication. The treatment increases the possibility of multiple births. Also birth defects have been reported following treatment to induce ovulation, although no direct effects of the drug on the unborn child have been established.

Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (or OHSS, enlargement of the ovary) has occurred in women receiving treatment. OHSS may progress rapidly and become serious. The early warning signs are severe pelvic pain, nausea, vomiting, and weight gain. Symptoms include abdominal pain, abdominal enlargement, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weight gain, difficult or labored breathing, and less urine production. If you experience any of these warning signs or symptoms, notify your doctor immediately. The recommended dosage for the first course of treatment is 50 milligrams (1 tablet) daily for 5 days. If ovulation does not appear to have occurred, your doctor may try up to 2 more times.

A short note

Another weekend has flown by... It feels like I never had a weekend break away and here I am back at work. Luckily for me I’ll be off for a whole week next week, but first I have to get through this week and all its challenges. So this weekend was fun, we went to my sister in law for a braai on Friday night, which was nice for a change as it wasn’t at our home. Saturday was fun, Pieter agreed to go shopping with me, we went to look at new garden features for our home, I went and bought new spinning shoes, and we just enjoyed the day. Sunday was better though. We went to watch Theuns Jordaan perform, now normally I don’t listen to this type of music, but I have to be honest, that man… girls… “Hy mag maar”. I really enjoyed it, afterwards we went and bought a DVD and CD, waited for him to sign it, and I took a picture with him… Yes… a nice picture… Do you feel jealous yet? And then of cause tomorrow (22 April 2008) is my day out of the office. I’m going out on a business trip. I’m flying to Cape Town for the day. We will be leaving at 10 and will return at 17:10 tomorrow night. So I’ll only get back in Johannesburg at about 19:00. Now I feel sorry for myself, because… ya you guest it, I’ll only get home at about 21:00, but still, it aught to be fun. At least there is some things in life that could still make life interesting. I truly miss all of you. I haven’t been chatting on the forum for a while now, as I just couldn’t get myself to go and say anything. I miss your comments and I miss our chats… Keep well

Mindset

I know I haven’t been the best blogger ever, but I just couldn’t get myself to write anything these couple of days. I just couldn’t pick myself out of the slump. Dealing with family and family problems, dealing with my own issues and resentments has just become so much that I lost perspective. At least I managed to squeeze in some time for personal activities, I never use to get a lot of time for myself as one tend to run after everyone else, but I decided that it’s time to look at for Stefanie, and I am. I started spinning, which is great fun, my sister in law joined me about 5 days ago, and she is also now spinning with me every Monday to Thursday, which gives her some personal time to. Some days I just wonder why it is that people need to try and exhaust themselves to try and forget what they are going through emotionally. I haven’t been able to go back for acupuncture, nor have I seen the inside of the doctors rooms since 25 March 2008, just can’t seem to focus anymore. Even though hubby thinks that I just don’t want any children now. I don’t think he really understand how I feel, hey I don’t even know myself how I feel, but I think my mindset is just not right. I have read all the blogs ladies who are on the exact same journey and try and find perspective on my life again, but I just find it so difficult. And there I go again. The negative little old me, I don’t want to feel this way, and I don’t want to feel like the victim in this story, but I do feel sorry for myself at this point in time, I just need to find a way to pick up my chin again. I’m sure I will work through this; I know I’m stronger than this. I want to end this message with the following: The beauty of life doesn’t depend on how happy you are... But on how happy others can be because of YOU!!! "Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams"

Your help is needed

I think that people don’t really realise what any adoptee is going through to find the missing pieces of their lives. I have browsed a whole bunch of web pages and so many adoptees feel that they should have been aborted. One don’t always know what exactly is going through these peoples minds, and what drove them to feeling this way, but the more you read the more you’ll find that people who has been adopted find themselves wheel spinning on the thoughts that they have been thrown away. Being an adult female who has been adopted and who is now struggling with infertility, I somewhat wonder why life has to be so hard on me. I’m sure that if I had direct access to all my family records and illnesses surely I would be able to find the missing link, if there is any of cause. I struggle with the thought that my mother has so easily given up on us. She has so easily given all four of us up for adoption without leaving any trace for us to be able to reunite. Then when you talk to people who are not in the same boat, they make you think of more than just these resentments. A very close friend of mine said to me that it’s easy to judge at this point in my life, but that I don’t really understand what has driven my mother to give us all up. What was her main purpose, and the thing is the more I think about it, the more I feel ill in my stomach. I can’t judge her or her situation (my mother of cause) but the one thing I know is that your life will never be complete. Yes and for most of you this statement might seem silly, but think of it this way. You know who you are. You know your family, you know your brothers and sisters if any, and you know your history. I might be in the most comfortable position as I know my mothers family, and some history to the family, but if I think of my two brothers and sister, I can’t even try to imagine how they must try and solve their puzzle pieces. Then of cause there is this burning question. The question whether they know they have been adopted, whether they would even want to know their history. Most adoptees feel that they don’t want to know their birth family, they are happy with what they have, and in some cases people only discover that they have been adopted way to late to even try and search. My question is… What do you feel? How do you feel about searching for birth relatives? I need some direction please

Smile

Every Little Smile can touch Somebody's heart May U find hundreds of reasons to smile today and

May U be the reason for someone else to smile always! Have a very good day !!!

Quick weekend note

Another weekend has gone by, and so we’re back at work. Monday, comes with all its beauty and I don’t feel up to anything today. My cousins little boy turned 2 yesterday, and they had a braai for his birthday. This turned out to be great fun. I haven’t seen all my family in a while, and this was really a time for us to get together like families should. The weather didn’t really work for us, as it started raining, but everything still turned out nice. We had such a great day, that we only left their place about 9 Last night. On our way home, there was a huge vehicle accident at one of the intersections, which had the cars backed-up for hours. Pieter got out of the car to find out how long we will still be stuck, to which we got the answer of another 2 hours, by that time, it was already 10:45. Anyway, we made a u-turn and went another route. Thank you GPS, you saved us once again. Cause without that little gadget we would have been lost, or would have had to sit in the pileup. So after our little detour, we got home about 12:46 this morning. Got into bed, and slept for a couple of hours. The clock was set for 4:30 this morning and eventually when it went of, it really didn’t feel as if I had any sleep, but once again life goes on. I just had to get up, get dressed and get to work. So another day at work started, and I feel sick, tired and really exhausted, but I suppose a good nights rest will resolve the issue. So tonight I’ll be in bed bright and early.

BFN

Greatness me, I suppose most of us is in need of another weekend to recover from this one. What a weekend, not that we have done as much as what we normally would have done, but it was still nice. Anyway, I wanted to let you know, that I can officially count another BFN (Big fat negative) on my charts. Yes you’re reading correct. I am not pregnant. So with that, I’ll close the thoughts for today, as I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions. Have a great week.

Easter wish

Good morning, I want to wish you all reading my blog, a wonderful Easter. If you are going away for the Easter holiday, please drive safely, and for those staying at home enjoy your time.

Keep well, and come back safely.

Truth

Good morning all you wonderful people… What a day, I’m so glad the rainy weather is gone; it really makes me feel all chirpy again… Anyway, I went to see the doctor last night. Just couldn’t wait anymore. I really stressed about the results, and as you know a whole lot of negative thoughts clutters your brain, but not everything is bad. Well let me give you the update for NOW. For NOW, the blood test is positive. Which means…? Yes… Yes… I’ll be a mommy soon, but… aaaa doesn’t the “but” just de-motivates you… but the test that they have done regarding the ovulation, shows that I’m not ovulating. I know exactly what question pops up in your mind, how could I be pregnant if I don’t ovulate, and why didn’t the lab pick it up… Well doctor got all the previous results of all the blood test that has been done, and we have never done an ovulation test. So no one has ever testing whether I ovulate or not, and now the test shows that I’m not, but the pregnancy test also shows that I’m pregnant. I will have to go back for another blood test to see whether I am officially pregnant within 2 weeks, as they will then be able to confirm. If I am not pregnant, doctor will put me on some meds to sort out the ovulation thing and we will then wait and see what happens. If I am, I’ll let you know, but for now, it’s another 2 week wait. Have a supper day, and enjoy your Easter… If you are going away for Easter, drive safely, and for those who will spend time at home hope you have a wonderful time. And Enjoy the valuable time you have with your loved once…

The moment

Well doctor has officially phoned me, but don't get excited. No news. So is no news good news? He decided that I have to go to his office, so I need to make an appointment and go see him. I am a nervous wreck. Why is it that he can’t give me the information on the phone, why do I have to go see him… I stress… I stress… Well I’ll keep you posted, as soon as I know

Is no feedback Good feedback?

Hi there, I want to make use of this opportunity to thank you all who forward me comments and mails; I really do appreciate your support. Well, I’m sure that you all are waiting in anticipation for the big ANSWER! Sorry girls, no feedback yet. I phoned the doctors offices this morning to enquire, but due to the other blood test also being done, they don’t have any feedback yet. I suppose we will all have to hang on this little thread… hang in there, and wait for that promising call!

Promised update on work offer and more

And so another week begins. I have promised you all an update on my work offer. Well here it goes. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, and it sure looks that way, but when you’re standing on a crossroad what makes you decide which road to take, there are about 4 different routes, and only one route that are meant for you… Well I got the most stunning offer from a telecommunications company. You see, a while ago I decided to put my curriculum vitae in the market, as I wanted a new challenge, and to my surprise this company has phoned me for an interview for a Project manager position. When I arrived for the interview it was the most comfortable interview I have had in my whole working career. I got there; we did the interview outside on their patio, overlooking the most stunning piece of earth I have seen in a very long time, anyway… I would be working at project manager in the business environment for about 4 months after which I will be moving over to their international projects… This is just amazing, what an excellent opportunity. I left there with the happiest feeling… I couldn’t have imagined that I will feel this way. I felt like a girl that got a new toy or something… and so I had to wait for the official contract / letter of appointment, and… So the day arrived when I received the letter, but… as this day arrived, I was standing at that crossroad I have been talking about. You see, in the time I have been waiting for this letter to come my way, something else has already surfaced… to my surprise though… I went to see the GP like I told you all on Wednesday 12 March 2008 and to my surprise Dr asked me to do a urine sample for him… I first asked why? He told me to just go do it quickly. I went, and on my way back I handed the thingy to him and off he went. After a while Dr returned and said, Negative… Negative? What is negative I asked. He said ALL the symptoms I show, and the internal examination everything shows that I am pregnant, except for the urine test that shows negative. I’m stunned… what the? I guess I have your attention now, don’t I? Anyway, Dr asked me to do a few more test including a pregnancy blood test on Sunday 16 March 2008, which I have done yesterday, and now I suppose I have to wait and see… Anyway, on the job thing…. I thought about it long and hard, and even though the offer is stunning, I’m just not in the position to take it at this point in time, so instead I had to stay on the straight long road. Maybe I’ll be able to take my left turn at my crossroad on another day.

What a wait

Sjoe, this waiting this is just not for me… I just feel so out of touch. And so I picked up the phone tried to phone the PI again, and the phone keeps on being engaged… engaged… engaged… can it really be such a mission to get hold of someone. I wonder if people really understand what it does to a person who is really searching for those very special people in their lives, to wait, wait for all the answers to a maze or one hell of a riddle… Sometimes when I sit back and think about the day when we could actually meet, my tummy turns. I know that that day will be the greatest day in my life; however, will it be in theirs. I don’t even know whether they know that they have been adopted, and what that will do to their adoptive families. I am so desperately looking, that I will forget what this could do to a family, but I would not be able to let it go. How does one let go of the only family that you might still have, how do you let go of the fact that you have brothers and a sister, how do you forget about blood family and just turn away. I’m just not in the position to let go yet. Anyway…the phone stopped being engaged, my heart skipped a beat and I really sommer feel ill… and now, I’m stuck on a message system and have to wait my turn… hold… hold… hold… and eventually there I go through. Well there is currently an application to the minister to reveal particular information, should they accept the application I would be in a position to obtain more information regarding my sibling… And there the sock of my life… This will take approximately 5 MONTHS to get the answer back. Don’t you just hate process? When a process is suppose to work it doesn’t, and when you don’t want it to work, it works so well that there is just no other alternative… so I hate the process, the wait, and the fact that I normally get my way quick and now have to wait is just so FRUSTRATING… Anyway, I thought I’ll share my frustration today! I STILL HATE PROCESS

Sick as a dog

Hi, hi… Well today is not one of my best days, nor was yesterday… the weekend was fun though. We went over to a old school friend of mine for a braai, and had a wonderful time. Saturday was the wedding… the bride looked wonderful, as every bride looks; when they start to walk down the isle you get this huge lump in your throat. Anyway, the evening was also very special, and they really made a lot of effort to let there guest feel at home. At about 2 the morning, everyone crashed in the guesthouse we were sleeping at, and guess what… I got very little sleep. Sunday started of well, we returned from the wedding, very drowsy as we didn’t have a lot of sleep, got home and had to entertain my friend and her family, as well as my family in law. We made a potjie, which turned out to be a very pleasurable day. We jumped into the swimming pool boots and all, and those who didn’t just got thrown in. So Monday came, got up very nauseous. Had a bit of coffee, which weren’t one of the greatest ideas. I got to work, tried some breakfast, which didn’t work well with the tummy, and just left the food thing for someone who can appreciate it. And so Tuesday arrived in all its glory… a super nice day, with a bit of rain, but Stefanie is still not feeling well. I still can’t keep food down, and coffee makes me feel even worse. The only thing that upsets me the most is that once you feel like this everyone’s got their own little opinion, and as you would guess, ya everyone would say your pregnant. Thought about it though, went home last night and actually did a home test, which came out with a HUGE dark negative line, so I guess its suppose to be something else. Something in the air, something I ate or drank, who knows? I just feel crappy.

Confused message

Have you ever had one of those days, where you want to cry, laugh and speak at the same time…? Well today is one of those days for me… I want to be happy, I need to laugh, but at the same time I want to cry my eyes out. I feel sad, sad about how things are turning out in my life. I need to speak, speak to anyone who wants to listen, but I just can’t find the words to tell them what’s going on… I need someone close, someone who understands… Who understand ME! Dr phoned me for the second time in a week, they urgently need to see me regarding all my tests. My heart is skipping a beat, my mouth feels dry, and my body is in shock… What is out there… what is awaiting me? Emotionally I don’t always think that I am up to more heartache, I can’t deal with more disappointment… I can’t deal with any more fights, worries or disappointments’. But I guess that’s life... On a bit lighter note, I feel exited… I got a new offer which means soon I’ll be working somewhere else, and this could release some of the frustration and tension I need to put up with. I have also found myself again… I actually realised that I’m not old yet, and that life has actually a lot in store for me, and that you just have to keep your head high, because there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s strange how your priorities could become all skew when you have your mind set on only one thing. Well I believe that I have set my priorities straight again... I’ll live as if today is my last day, and enjoy every moment, and let these moments take my breath away. Love as if I have loved and gotten hurt before, and most of all I’ll keep my friend close, and my enemies so much closer… Have fun!

Preaching

Well here we are 5 March 2008 has officially arrived and no news yet. I’m going crazy. Being the type of person who loves to be on top of all, I feel so out of it. I suppose all good things come to those who wait, but patience is not one of my good trades… I thought that I’ll focus on a little message to all adoptees’ today, wanna sound like a lecturer, seeing that I know some of the stuff, as I go through this daily We all may have a great desire to find our biological family, after you find out that you have been adopted. It normally doesn’t matter how we find out, let me tell you, we have no need to be ashamed about the fact that we have been adopted, as we don’t have any control of what had happened, and be sure that there could have been nothing we could have done to prevent this from happening. One thing is for sure, you must never reject your adoptive family, they are the people who stood by us all those years, and they guided us, and moulded us into what we have become today. Talk to them about the fact that you are in need to find your biological family, they might and most probably will feel rejected, but assure them that you will never exchange them for your biological family. Let them know you love them, and that they are your family. I need to tell you… once you open this can of worms, you can never turn back. Take it from me, I am in search of my biological brothers and sister for a couple of years already, with no luck so far, but the more you find the more you dig… the more you dig, the more riddles you find… the more riddles you solve, the more hurtful it becomes, and so the whole list can grow and grow… I need to run, enough preaching for today. I’m phoning that PI today… I just can’t sit here and waiting for information anymore… I need to take action, and start tracing them myself again… It almost felt that by searching myself I got information much faster than waiting for anyone else. TA for today!